Slow like a fox. Foxes are fast, right?

Relax, guys, just found the Reply button stuck behind the fridge.

Think Raylan Givens/Boyd Crowder.

When people prefer me to you, it's time to go.

Hello everyone! Just checking in to make sure there's been no problems with your good 'ol pal Disqus lately!

It's actually pronounced 'Derek'. I misspelled it on my first day and it stuck.

The crippling loneliness mainly…

I'm going through some stuff right now, Cat. Don't worry about it.

A comment system's gotta have a code.

And I was this close to liking this comment, too…

Dry January is over, bitchezzzzszzzszzz !!! 11!!1

Fixed that for you, buddy.

That's just how I say Happy Birthday.

What a cool guy! He took away your ability to see likes so you wouldn't focus so much on self-gratification!

I know we've had our differences lately but..but…I can change! I can adjust! I'll be ever so lonely without you…

You can follow me if you want.

i'm sooo wasted right now

I used my comment searching algorithm and my results have been quite comprehensive: no one cares. Tough break.

My first Criterion title was Nobody Cares About Criterion Titles: The Never-Ending Saga'.

Finally, someone around here who speaks my language.