Eastbound And Down really is one of my favorite shows of all time. There was an amazing consistency in quality during the three seasons (with the only exception of the plantation episode in Season 3, which was a wtf? moment). The series was wrapped up nicely at the end of season 3, but if I can have more adventures…

I wonder if at any time in this movie, will Charlie Sheen say his iconic line "Winning!" Better yet, at the end of the movie will Danny Trejo chop off President Charlie's smug head off with one swing of his machete and then retort "Who's Winning Now, Mother-fucker!"

I wonder if at any time in this movie, will Charlie Sheen say his iconic line "Winning!" Better yet, at the end of the movie will Danny Trejo chop off President Charlie's smug head off with one swing of his machete and then retort "Who's Winning Now, Mother-fucker!"

I want to see a hard-R rated film based on the Cap'n Crunch cereal.

I want to see a hard-R rated film based on the Cap'n Crunch cereal.

Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3. She reportedly got paid an extra half million bucks to shave her head for the film. I'm here to let all the movie studios know I will shave my head for considerably less than that. So now the offers can start rolling in.

Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3. She reportedly got paid an extra half million bucks to shave her head for the film. I'm here to let all the movie studios know I will shave my head for considerably less than that. So now the offers can start rolling in.

Is that a carrot in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

Is that a carrot in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

Ironic, as I'm reading this article right now, "In The Air Tonight" is playing on the radio. Which really is a great fucking song.

Ironic, as I'm reading this article right now, "In The Air Tonight" is playing on the radio. Which really is a great fucking song.

I'm picturing more of a Back To The Future-type incident, where Lindsay Lohan smashes into the back of the 18-wheeler, and out pours a ton of manure on her.

I'm picturing more of a Back To The Future-type incident, where Lindsay Lohan smashes into the back of the 18-wheeler, and out pours a ton of manure on her.

Are you suggesting, by chance, that the driver behind the 18 wheeler was Robert Wagner? You really think Wagner could've cut her off with his semi truck, hoping to murder her? If so, Lindsay Lohan is a big step down for him from Natalie Wood….

Are you suggesting, by chance, that the driver behind the 18 wheeler was Robert Wagner? You really think Wagner could've cut her off with his semi truck, hoping to murder her? If so, Lindsay Lohan is a big step down for him from Natalie Wood….

HEY-OHHHHH!!!!!!

HEY-OHHHHH!!!!!!

How will the World's Largest Nachos (shown in the picture for this article) figure prominently into the plot? Since this is going to be an action-adventure film, will the World's Largest Nachos be the McGuffin of the film, the way the Ark of the Covenant was for Raiders of the Lost Ark? The good guys and the bad guys…

How will the World's Largest Nachos (shown in the picture for this article) figure prominently into the plot? Since this is going to be an action-adventure film, will the World's Largest Nachos be the McGuffin of the film, the way the Ark of the Covenant was for Raiders of the Lost Ark? The good guys and the bad guys…

She rear-ended someone? I'm sure most days, it's the other way around. HEY-OHHH!!!!!