WHAAAAA?! XARO COMES FROM A LESS-THAN-NOBLE FAMILY? WHY AM I JUST LEARNING ABOUT THIS NOW!!!

Since Joffery will undoubtedly outlive us all, here are some fun ideas for the gruesome and painful death that he'll annoyingly avoid:

How's it going? How are Donna and the kids? Has little Jimmy started kindergarten yet? Been out to the gold course lately? Think it's going to rain? Did I leave my sunglasses at your place last week, after the poker game? Why haven't I tried Donna's famous chocolate chip cookies yet? Is that a mole on your neck? Have…

Somewhat ironic, as Andy looks like Theon Greyjoy's taller, fatter brother.

It's SPACE lupus!!!

I wonder if TARP would help bail out the Lannisters if they lose the war…or are they too big to fail?

I bet the Spice King has a little Hedonism-bot in him as well. Wouldn't surprise me if he had his man-servants cover his torso in hot fudge, from time to time.

You are now unwelcome at the Terrordome.

Danaerys has grown. Ayra has grown. Theon has grown. Maybe not in the ways that characters on Deadwood have grown, but GoT is not the same kind of show. Do we really need to know what motivates Robb Stark? No; his dad'd death is sufficient. Why does Jorah stick around, even after essentially getting pardoned in season…

A lot of character development was left on the table when Renly got Smoke Monster'd. Oh well, at least we never had to see that freaky 3-way with his wife and her brother.

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Can you guess how much this blade of Valerian Steel is, without going over the retail price?

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A wizard did it (Tywin is a wizard).

I prefer to think of Westeros as an over-extended England, with a large arctic land mass stuck on top of it. No matter what the books say, it'd be REALLY hard for a single language and culture to be spread out across a continent the length of North and South America combined (and yes, I know that the people of…

Moon…..pie. What a time to be alive.

Uh….Hordor.

King Joffery CLAIMS to be the son of Robert, but if the seed is so strong, why does Joffery have golden blonde hair like his mother? He also isn't fat, doesn't have a beard and drunkenly fuck whores. Is he a Baratheon? Is he EVEN A MAN?!

Also, don't forget that riddle the Eunuch posed to Tyrion earlier this season, something about a king, a priest and a rich man, and how power is really all about perception.

Sure, you can link to this list, but I'm not sure how Power Rankings will go over with a crowd that already knows how the story is going to end. Since I haven't read the books, I'm just guessing with what little information the show has given me. I like to think that that's part of the charm.