A girl with no face?! Watch out, kids, Selena Gomez cometh!

That song and "Christmas At Ground Zero" are two classic comedic standbys. I've managed to sneak them into our annual holiday playlist, and the holly-jolly melodies mask the hilariously violent lyrics.

A Christmas Story taught me to celebrate Christmas in a series of slightly disconnected vignettes that will become pop culture icons for years to come. Also to drink my Ovaltine.

It's supplied my family's present-opening festivities for the last few years, ever since I illegally downloaded it and forced them to play it. Hooray for forced traditions!

It may not be actual Christmas music, but I plan to blare Sleigh Bells over my family's surround sound system once we're all assembled for our annual Christmas presentgasm. How will my grandparents react to their revolutionary bubblegum-noise-pop? Tune in to "Gherkin's Wacky Christmas Pranks" at 9:00 EST on Thursdays,…

Oh. Dang. At least Archer is starting up next month, and Unsupervised looks pretty promising.

I haven't seen this episode yet, but I have to ask: what's with the talk of Sunny in Philadelphia and The League's seasons ending? Do FX shows take a hiatus in the middle of seasons, or did these shows both get an episode cut?

Don't drag Brad Bird into your Scientology revenge schemes!

OE3 blew me away. I enjoyed the first and turned off the second near the halfway point, then got dragged to 3 by some friends.

I personally don't give a Travolta's man-boob about whatever religion people choose; but his overall insanity has given me a bit of schadenfreude from the flop of MI3.

Seeing the phrase "Patton's steely turn as a woman" out of context after having Mr. Oswalt pop up all over the A.V. Club the last few weeks gave me pause.

A single plain-flavor clown is bad enough. Add power and baby, you've got a stew going. Of pants-wetting terror.

The first one lost me after Reaction Shot Bulldog.

I can rest secure knowing that there is a both a YouTube user known as "ChuckNorrisKratos" and "ChuckNorrisKratosLOL".

That's just the pot calling the kettle a horrible movie.

Opposite of a jackpot: a Jillpot?

If someone held a gun to my head and told me to choose Skyline or Battle LA, I'd choose Mr. Bullet any day.

In addition to being placid and boring, I found it scientifically impossible. You can't just get turn on a hot tub and get it hot immediately. I should know. I've been in two of them.

Killer Elite.

You were the one who set off the True Meaning of Dawesmas comment, after all. For that we are in your eternal debt.