…and also maybe Dawes.

His name is Carroll and he cries. It is hilarious.

Ah, yes. Drew.

Profdragon, you are, by far, my favorite Profdragon. Keep on snarking it up and cutting me down to size.

Outsourced was cancelled, what, two years ago?

I can't remember his name, but the "super handsome doctor" who turned out to be so attractive that nobody every mention how dumb he was was pretty funny. Plus the fact that he ended up losing a hand by waving from a helicopter was awesome.

Or refer to her last name. The latest episode was called "Christmas is Cumming", for God's sake. SHE IS LITERALLY MAKING FUN OF HERSELF.

I WANT TO GO TO THERE

Ooooh, yeah. I forgot about the Mean Girls-style angle that secret conversations can bring. It'd be nice to be able to check in with people that haven't been commenting, but it's not worth sacrificing the community.

That reminds me: the one thing I feel the A.V. Club comments system could use is a "direct messages" option. We can friend each other, but we can't whisper conspiratorially in secret? What madness.

Here's another choice excerpt from my Book of Death Poetry: By Gherkins, Age Twelve

Is it? I'm nineteen and I want to hate it, so much, but I can't help listening to Skrillex whenever I want to hear something stupid, obnoxious, and just plain catchy in a thoroughly retarded way.

I'm being swallowed up by readin', ritin', and 'rithmetic as well, but I still make time for the important things in life.

On that note, where the hell has Nathan Ford's Evil Twin been? I missed the 2 Broke Girls review; did he show up to ship the girls and their fiscal predicament?

Yeah, things are peaceful on the Goode Shippe A.V. Clubbe. I made an ironic too-soon joke on the Amy Winehouse review and it was zapped within the hour. Curses! *rubs hands together, schemes to strike again*

The Muppets? Attack the Block? The final Harry Potter movie? Muppets will stand the test of time, Attack the Block has already entered cult canon, and HP is obvious.

If moderators ever come to the A.V. Club, I'll print out my comment history and eat it if Scrawler and Archmage don't get first dibs on privileges.

It was a purposely too-soon joke which I covered up by pretending I hadn't heard about Amy's death. It was my first deleted comment. *toots one of those party things*

Oh no! I've been dissed!

This is the first time I've been told to not quit my day job!