Tits are good.

All I know is that I REALLY REALLY wanna have sex with Amy Schumer.

I finally found another person on the Internet who thought this, too, but it's just so ab-so-lutely obvious to me that I can't believe it's not to everyone else: Darrell Hammond's Colonel is a riff on George W. Bush.

You're 50 percent there, maybe a little more. Take your time, enjoy it, because as soon as the main storyline's over, the game is over too, for all intents and purposes. You can do some mopping up, but that's about it.

I think a big draw of superhero movies is that adults loved superheroes as a kid and now we get to go see superhero movies with our kids, having a bonding moment over liking the same stuff. I dunno that there's much more to it than that. I just wish there were more room for movies that weren't part of "franchises" or…

It wasn't that she couldn't make a deadline, it's that she wrote a cliffhanger leading to another season that she wasn't 100 percent sure would exist. She was trying to keep herself in a job by writing a cliffhanger, but Fox said "don't care."

Katie: Have a thing for poor, old, broke-ass sad sacks? Lemme know.

He's got nothing better to do since Dream Theater canned his ass.

Dear Sean:
Sometimes you can get too cutesy writing these things and they become freakin' impossible to decipher. Feel free to be funny about such weighty subjects, but also feel free to make sure what you're writing is vaguely readable.

Goddamn, I love the Internet.

Sorry

Will you manage the $1,500 in my 401k? I'm 20 years from retirement. Good luck.

Yes he is, bless his heart, and I wanted to like his show so much.

Two words that will never happen (unfortunately): Craig Ferguson

How in the hell would Brian Williams have to do with this?

More likely: @Eleven with Chris Hardwick

1. The chorus of Parliament's "Night of the Thumpasaurus People" vs. the chorus of the Black Crowes' "Remedy."

Exactly. After a while, you easily tune it out, except to laugh when an announcer goes apeshit over a particular move. I do wanna hear Jim Ross call Wrestle Kingdom just to hear what he brings to the table. You'll get over the commentary thing SO quickly one you start, and the wrestling is top-notch.

I suspect a lot of it is variations on "is that all you've got?" when an opponent blasts him with a forearm or lariat or whatnot and it doesn't seem to faze him. Easily my favorite wrestler on the planet right now.

The language barrier used to really trip me up, too, but as I watched more, it became less of a problem. My favorite dude on the NJPW roster - not mentioned in the article because he's not one of the main eventers - is Tomohiro Ishii, a grumpy brute who beats living hell out of people. http://youtu.be/1DGDu5UqiZk