At just $25 per bottle, you don't have to be as wealthy as the Olsen quadruplets to buy it.

The "porn parody without the porn" is Ignaty-level writing at its best. Nice work!

BUT MIRACLE WHIP IS EXTREME. MIRACLE WHIP WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN.

They still sell Freedom Fries at that bar and grill Toby Keith has at Harrah's in Las Vegas. But that's Toby Keith so it's a given.

Don't worry about his golf game. You're not the one who sucks. He's the one who SUUUUUUUUCks.

Mr. Meeseeks, is there a way how you can test one of these burgers for me to ensure they're not filled with bromones?

Just because you collect Nazi stuff doesn't mean that…

There's something strangely interesting over how the show uses black-oriented music here and there in the soundtrack. Considering how the case was a huge black-and-white affair, I can see what would inspire this to work in such a way.

I don't think you will ever see another Letterman and I really think people will miss Conan once he retires. It's a good thing that Colbert is not trying to be like Dave or Conan and that he's just trying to do his own thing. The fact that he's eschewed reality stars and likes to go out there with musicians as a plus.…

Thanks for letting me know. I was so scared!

I'm pretty sure someone would reprise an old 90s Nickelodeon character in his work too. Colbert isn't perfect but he's at least a hell of a lot more original than that.

Well, I said it as in next year. I mean, reading the playoffs in 2017 is still going to be extremely tough but considering how the team seems to have an idea of what it wants to do for the future (and has a huge array of options for what to do), the team is in a much better condition now than it has been in the last…

Remember when the Winnipeg Jets were in the Southeast? That was a crazy few years.

They're not just any hands - they're Trump hands. They've got little stumpy things on them and look like what you'd see on a kewpie doll. They're gonna be anything but huuuge.

How did your favorite NHL team do in the trade deadline?

I saw a bunch of YouTube videos of her promoting Sony smartphones and she gets all excited about them. I like how come of the people comment on those videos saying either "Louise would totally say that" or "Mabel would never say that!"

Yeah, but maybe they thought he died a few years earlier and they didn't know until just now.

Between Barney being barefoot on the cover and Homer backwards on the back cover, they couldn't figure out what conspiracy to run with.

I find humor in the fact that he threw a patented Trumper Tantrum about wanting to strip the media of its power and then a few days later a movie about the power of the media to uncover the truth wins the Best Picture Oscar.

Coheed and Cambria's 21:13 from Silent Earth 3 is a cool song that mixes all its parts seamlessly. Don't forget that one.