Daffy Dick seems like the most appropriate screen name in the history of screen names.  That comment was both daffy and dickish.

Daffy Dick seems like the most appropriate screen name in the history of screen names.  That comment was both daffy and dickish.

I had the same thought.  Then I remembered that this is the Onion.

I had the same thought.  Then I remembered that this is the Onion.

The world won't be safe until we finally put Peter North behind bars.

The world won't be safe until we finally put Peter North behind bars.

All these complaints about the media, and he can't say one fucking thing about the fact that Two and a Half Men is still on the air?  Use your platform to do some good, you dick.

All these complaints about the media, and he can't say one fucking thing about the fact that Two and a Half Men is still on the air?  Use your platform to do some good, you dick.

Instead, can't we superglue a giant beak to LaPierre's face?  They can have it it pollo a pollo.

Instead, can't we superglue a giant beak to LaPierre's face?  They can have it it pollo a pollo.

All this outrage, and yet who spoke out after what happened to golf upon the release of Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge?

All this outrage, and yet who spoke out after what happened to golf upon the release of Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge?

Here comes the Funcooker!

Here comes the Funcooker!

Oh yeah - he was supposed to be the new big name guest judge this season.  Has he shown up more than once since the preliminaries?

Oh yeah - he was supposed to be the new big name guest judge this season.  Has he shown up more than once since the preliminaries?

The bit about Micah’s kids, named Sage and Saffron, is adorable, and a little more of that would help me care about each individual contestant as they compete.

The bit about Micah’s kids, named Sage and Saffron, is adorable, and a little more of that would help me care about each individual contestant as they compete.

Two and a half queens?  I might watch that, about two female impersonators and the midget who owns the club where they work.  Of course, that's 80% of the way to just being a retread of Bosom Buddies.

Two and a half queens?  I might watch that, about two female impersonators and the midget who owns the club where they work.  Of course, that's 80% of the way to just being a retread of Bosom Buddies.