I always felt like it was pretty clear that the Last Crusade script consciously treated the powers of the Grail (or more accurately, the misguided search for such powers) as a cosmic joke, more or less. The knight explains how you can't cross the seal with it, and that that's "the price of immortality."

It never occurred to me that Nick's dad might've been a physical abuser, and I guess it's an interesting "what if" interpretation, but honestly I feel like it's totally irrelevant. Mr. Andopolis clearly doesn't even NEED to lay a hand on his kid to damage him. The emotional abuse on display is more than enough to see…

Also, judging by the background image on Running From The Raptor, I can only assume it involves a search for the holy grail.

*jumps out from the shadows*

No Shoes Allowed?

Liking JT and liking Michael Jackson/James Brown/[Enter Rhythmic Negro Of Your Choice] are not, in fact, mutually exclusive.

"It’s no secret that a lot of dudes in Hollywood have used toupees, sprays, or giant hair swoops to *attempt to* keep the world from knowing that they’re going bald."

Yeah, Dr. Seward! Yeah, science!

"Boys have a penis, girls have a refrigerator."

Hawkeye likes his chicken spicy.

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS OVER TOWERS OF MOLDY BOOKS WHILE SHUFFLING TOWARD WHAT USED TO BE THE BATHROOM

A dried up husk is pretty much what you're left with after being digested for over a thousand years.

Not to mention the abundance of Batemen at the end.

In what universe is it MORE appealing to see random Scots get seduced into a van by a wizened Tony Danza?

I used to *do* drugs off of his dad! Go figure.

Blogging about being dead? Now I've heard everything.

Great. Now I'll never be able to watch that "R2 stunned by Jawa" scene the same way again.

"I Like Chinese" is only slightly problematic.

The Beatles, "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?"

So, no Custard Pie?