I like how "radical Islam" is an offshoot of Islam now for most of America, like Baptists to Christianity.

I really like this show. Am I wrong?

His original draft of this comment followed "This probably follows the general trend of 'the winners write history', because the Jews were in a position of power before and after the Third Reich" with "in seeing how they start all wars an own all the banks and media…"

NO FATE BUT WHAT WE MAKE

Lil' Bub?

Now who'll tell me what's a chicken and what's a baby?

Hey, your kid may have died from whooping cough, but at least it wasn't autistic!

PRECISELY

It's a real bummer Reese Witherspoon has to outperform him in drunkenness.

Yeah, it's a shame he passed a few—

A GOOD DAY TO DODGE HARD

See, it's funny because he thinks he's a pirate, but he's not.

…is there anyone who actually wants this?

Eric Roberts directly lifted that line for The Dark Knight, didn't he?

Why couldn't he have made a George and Gracie reference? Them fuckers I can spell.

…showdah.

Plus he has Steven Edie tickets…

God, I wish this didn't apply to my real life…

SHOW-DAIR???

I'm not gay, but I'd let Jon Hamm fuck my face.