"Why did Ferlin keep all those empty test tubes in his freezer?", everyone will wonder aloud.

"…eventually Burt could only be satisfied when he was with two or more women at the same time. He called it 'the Burt Con-voy'. It was disgusting and I wanted to be a part of it."

In the South they call it "Win, Lose, or Drawl". In frat houses it's known as "Win, Lose, or Draw a Penis on Your Face". On old episodes of Get Smart it's known as "Win, Lose, or Craw!".

Talk to the hand, nay, palm.

"ask fans for their indulgence regarding any resulting errors in the series’ chronology."

Her face when she sits back down is the face of someone who has realized the subtle math of bad idea plus Will Ferrell's ego equals you look like an idiot.

@avclub-022199896b1f52952c180b60caa681bd:disqus  To be able to play both Bob Cratchit and Jack the Ripper believably is a pretty wide range.

I read that as "dick sauce", and I apologize.

Time After Time is awesome, though David Warner pretty much owns the whole thing.

Accidental rapist?

Didn't we just have this with Keira Knightley and Steve Carell? Is it already time for a reboot? What is going on here?!

The way I say it, it is.

It looks like that sweater is slowly growing a nose.

Man, I totally wish I could get my portrait done up as Dick Sprang's version of the Joker.

"Would you like me to conjugate that for you, pop?"

A man who clearly has no reason to be on a beach whatsoever and he's carried in on a fucking surfboard. And if I remember correctly he like ascends into heaven or something at the end of Surfin' Bird.

@avclub-33beffd09a1b020d1187c6b4b264014a:disqus  When I used to have Comcast the upper channels had the craziest shit. My account didn't cover them but you could see the guide descriptions and it was like every country and ethnic group within them got their own channel with home-grown programming. I really wish I…

It's still somewhat quotable in the right company.

a) there's not 1000 channels, maybe like 999 AT MOST
b) 40% of all channels are all-sports, all-music, or all-Ukrainian soap operas
c) 30% of all channels are currently in hour three of a Storage Wars marathon
d) Lifetime?

Hell yeah!