I couldn't get into this show; I was like, "I know what not to wear, tell me what to wear!" Jeez you guys, come on!

I didn't even notice it's almost his birthday!

He's 43 with an 18 year old daughter (who had the baby), so it's young but not super-young.

In college we called this one guy "Cloaca" because he was a pussy who always made an ass of himself.

They have commercials for fucking now?

I…can't…help…Fallon in love…with…you.

I don't mean to nit-pick but if that didn't start out as a numbered list the first item should be, like, "4." or something.

HUG LIFE.

Cliche rules everything around me.

Look at they two Jennifers, they always trippin'!

Is the next one called See How Tron is Living…For the City

Sht up TARD u wuldn't know it u [ 12 line racist/illuminati rant ]

During the war the Nazis captured a giant grandfather clock. Upon interrogation the clock answered, "Tic…tic…tic", to which the SS Captain replied, "Vee haf vays of making you tok!"

Ugh all of these songs are 20 years old this year.

Hell yeah, TURTLE POWER!

Will she change her name to Joanna Newsamberg? That's how you do it, right, you just combine names?

I could have made roughly the same film with eight guys on painter's stilts for half that!

The Squid Stays in the Picture.

Shit yeah read the fuckin' book!*

As a former Caption Contest champ*, I also endorse this comment. And like my winning caption, my endorsement is now meaningless.