Even more chilling than the Speak & Spell voice.

I lost it when the Dickensian street urchin smiled.

I think I'm certain you pay to get behind her Xmas curtain.

I didn't recognize that as an actual quote from "Blackadder," sorry.

Baldrick, it's impossible not to imagine that comment spoken in Ralph Wiggum's voice.

[kills self]

Hey, Tuck: I have not "friended" AV Club staffers (yet) only because I would be self-conscious about the appearance of wanting to become internet buddies with them. In fact, many of the other longtime commenters here have unselfconsciously done so, while others have told me they too wouldn't be comfortable doing…

I had to Google Ed Hardy, so … no. I don't like to drink, but I have an unusually high tolerance for booze and drugs. And I don't know why I care if some internet stranger thinks I'm a lightweight, but sorry it made me sound like a douche.

Wait a minute … THE Jeff Vogel? The founder of Spiderweb Software in 1994, who since then, has written many fantasy role-playing games for Windows and Macintosh, including the Exile, Geneforge, and Avernum series and Nethergate: Resurrection?

I'LL HAVE THE MINI BURGERS BITCH THAT SHIT IS TASTY AND I CAN PRETEND I'M A GIANT OM NOM NOM

Maybe D'Angelo should have just said the movie "insists upon itself" and left it at that.

Burl!

Wow, that is Shatner. The thumbnail looks like a teeth-gnashingly mad Tom Bergeron.

You're the only one bitching, dude. I said Zack's a good writer and the ZMF thing seemed weird, and that's it.

What was your favorite shot flavor? Lemon drop? Washington apple?

I can't believe someone named Corey would be referred to as a bitch. That's LIL BITCH to you, ZMF.

Did they buy you a big lollipop on your big day out?

Hey, ZMF, how did you fellas part ways? Are you and handshaker or a hugger?

Whoa, settle down, Tuck. I like ZMF's posts, and I'm not jealous — unless I hear that, after lunch and the movie, Josh, Kyle, Nathan, and Dave Chang all took ZMF to the park, bought him an ice cream, and pushed him on the swings. Or that, after the MREs and girly shots, they had a slumber party and a pillow fight.

My problem with ZMF is the implied incest in his name.