It was one thing when Handlen was brought from the comment section onto the AV Club staff, because he's proven himself to be a terrific writer, but … I mean, really? First the "Crank 2" commentary, and now this?

MOVIES AREN'T REAL?!?
The scales have fallen from my misunderstanding eyes. Bless you, Mike D'Angelo. You have pulled the plug on the Matrix.

This is one of the dumbest articles I've read on this site. There are just as many, if not more, instances of jump cuts in contemporary cinema, and it's now possible to cite jump-cut-filled internet video as an influence, and not just an influential classic like "Breathless." However, according to Mike D'Angelo, "we…

Yeah, this pretty much lost me at "hotshot looka-me cinematography." That's like complaining about "hotshot listen-to-me music."

Excuse me: Russell Crowe.

I can't wait for Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," starring — you guessed it — Russell Crow. Those two are like the Kurosawa and Mifune of art films.

Wow, that dinner smells good.
Let me guess … [sniffs air] Meat?

How far is heaven?

Three completely nude Dr. Manhattans.

I don't know if my tastes are adventurous enough for "Eternal Sunshine" (that full title is trippy enough!) or "There Will Be Blood" (sounds gory), but thanks again for unearthing these cinematic gems, which must have been like pearls before swine when they were released in theaters. You certainly know your stuff. …

I just skimmed this without actually reading it, but I want to thank you for your movie recommendations and for turning us on to artists like the Coen brothers, Martin Scorsese, Michel Gondry, Ridley Scott, and Paul Thomas Anderson.

18 or 19 years old: more than old enough to have sex, but way too young to get married. I can understand placing value in waiting to have sex, but not in people getting married before they reach true emotional maturity, especially if premarital pregnancy is not a factor.

I'm fucking sick of shapeshifters, like those in "Blood and Chocolate" or "True Blood" and the Southern Vampire books. My wife reads those books, and I always make fun of their ridiculous supernatural-creature potpourri, which completely undercuts any scariness, as far as I'm concerned. Okay, you've got vampires,…

Nasal hair?
Is it just me, or could his right nostril have used a little photo-editing touch-up?

The NY Times reviews for it were positive, including a typically enthusiastic, completely empty review from Janet Maslin. It just sounds boring to me, especially at nearly 1,100 pages.

It seems to me that modeling is the most disposable part of pop culture. Anyone who takes it seriously is unmoored from reality and adrift in pointlessness. It's doing something that contributes nothing to the world and conforms to standards that are purely imaginary. If Banks invests so much of herself in the…

It seems you can't exscape that sort of stupidity.

I got "Withnail and I" for $10.50. It's currently $23.99 on Amazon. Just sayin'.

I don't know who's reading this at this point, and I really hate to sound like some shill for Barnes and Noble, but their Criterion sale beats anything else around, especially if you're a B&N member. The cool thing about B&N (the only really good thing, actually) is that you can combine a member discount and a coupon…

The interview linked above is pretty great. I love hearing him talk about how he doesn't believe in character and "all that crap."