I honestly thought I was the only person who remembered this. It was insane.

I remember laughing so hard at Heather Locklear just matter of factly agreeing that she's slender because she lucked out with a great metabolism that includes frequent pooping.

Culture Club was my first concert. My parents took me to see them when I was in the fourth grade - they loved Boy George's dulcet tones and sharp wit as much as I did, pretty much. Basically I'm saying my parents were awesome.

Pretty sure that would be Lincoln. JFK was funnier than Obama too.

His head clearly wasn't in it. He announced his retirement by talking about him recently spending an entire work day trying to ID an eagle his son had taken a picture of while they were fishing. Which, as a bird lover, I found extremely enjoyable (and relatable).

The blood drained from my face during that song, so I'm gonna say she was "appropriately" "outraged" and add another things-I-enjoy-about-Jamie-Lee-Curtis tick mark next to her name.

I seem to recall them using the number a hundred and thirty-seven a lot too. Someone tell me if I am or am not crazy.

Remember the time Elizabeth got amnesia or something and started behaving like Jessica and there was a dude and he put his hand on her breast? I was aroused for like 6 weeks straight by that. God was I easily turned on at that age.

I used to spend my weekly allowance on Sweet Valley High books and then read them in an hour, usually in the bathroom.

Basically, everyone forgets that there is an option besides deciding "he's lying" and "she's lying." That option being "I don't know anything about this, so I'll wait to make a judgement."

I read the Stanhope article and came away from it thinking "he clearly loves Johnny Depp and therefore takes his side, and there's nothing automatically wrong with that, but he has absolutely nothing substantive to say, so why the fuck is he talking?"

"Cosell, you're a phony, and that thing on your head comes from the tail of a pony."

That Daniel Radcliffe seems highly enjoyable.

Well I for one am gobsmacked let me tell you.

It's unclear to me why Jeannie needs a defense when to my recollection pretty much everyone considered her to be one of the most hilarious people in a hilarious movie.

Also Conan punches celebrities far less often than he punches Aaron.

This is exactly what Katherine Heigl said about Knocked Up and everyone hated her for it. But she wasn't wrong. During the dinner when the dudes are talking about Doc Brown and the wives look mystified and irritated, I was thinking "I can't think of a single woman our age who would not join in this conversation."

Ken really is tremendous at Twitter.

A friend of mine once said "if you don't know the answer in Trivial Pursuit, just say 'Lee Harvey Oswald.'"

Every expression in this screengrab is spectacular. It should win a Pulitzer.