don't be jealous, i think you can be witty too ;)

well played

ooga chaka and so on and so forth

no one told me either. what a bunch of a-holes

i am a second-rate imitation, thank you very much

yea, well, i have my own dictionary too. it's called the dictionary

i liked that begrudgingly, just so you know

keeping her locked up in my basement has really allowed me the time to get her sentiment and diction just right

i realize i'm a lame gimmick at best and you have no reason to listen to anything i ever say, but i feel a little responsible for this turn of events, so i'm going to attempt to channel the better version of account for a second:

hot. hothothot

yea, i'm basically the best. so glad you've finally realized it

i'd try to encourage you or something, but that's not really my racket. can i interest you in an asshole remark? i have lots of those

i'm offended

/rubs narwhal's other tooth

on behalf of the people who are too nice to say anything:

if you need to laugh to stop from crying, then go for it

she's fancier than you, too. that's right, i went there

ha, you wish. and evil sbt is way cooler than you, fyi

YOU ARE NOT EVIL SBT

well i never claimed my observations were earth-shattering or anything