In Texas, it's legal to sell fireworks 20 days a year—the 10 days leading up to the 4th, and the 10 days leading up to New Years. That means most of our fireworks places are roadside stands that look like overgrown lemonade stands, but there are a few stores that are actual buildings. I can't really understand…

I was thinking it was about the ordinary guy who was pretending to be a millionaire, but that was Joe Millionaire, and I think that aired on Fox.

He "joked" about how he'd be dating her if she wasn't his daughter on The View back in 2006. Since it's been 11 years since he made that "joke", she's probably too old for him now. Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't been cast aside for Tiffany.

This is heartbreaking. I really hope she's found safe and sound and soon.

I'm at work, and almost everybody seems to be here. When the 4th was on a Thursday in 2013, they gave us Friday off as well. I don't know why they didn't give us today off.

Can't remind the public of all those slave kids the government is hiding up there!

I really can't believe they actually went with this title, song reference or not. I would think the success of Boss Baby alone would have prompted the studio to figure out a new title. I'm guessing the presence of Cars and DM3 at the nation's multiplexes kept too many clueless parents from buying their kids tickets…

Because it's way too difficult to look at the upcoming TV schedules on Thursday afternoon and write three short articles that can be auto-timed to post at the appropriate times.

Nor is Bernadette Peters or Bette Midler.

The review made it clear that the show gotta have a gimmick, but without one, that no matter how much it wants to let it entertain me, it won't.

I like how the cartoon places the M in Time. Kind of like how the real magazine placed the M in Trump's Person of the Year cover.

To be fair, LBJ is actually not half-bad now that they got the toll lanes in. The rich folk who don't mind spending a small fortune to drive underground get the toll lanes, leaving more room in the free lanes at ground level for us cheapskates who have no desire to send all our money to Spain. If Stemmons ends up…

Why stop with Obama? How about all 43 prior presidents brutally attack Trump? Then robo-Pence walks in, surveys the scene, and slowly backs out.

For years, I thought the movie, which came out a year after Gibson's Simpson's episode where he concluded his in-show Oscar bait political movie by stabbing someone to death with the American flag (suggested by Homer, of course), climaxed with Gibson stabbing Jason Isaacs to death with the American flag. Alas, I have…

They'll also justify coming back to his corner with the usual "He's not a politician, so he doesn't know what he's doing!" bullshit. He's been president for over 5 months now. At some point "He's new, he doesn't know any better!" will stop flying.

Sorry about your car.

To be fair, I'm now pretty sure he was on the spectrum somewhere. At the time, though, I didn't even know there was a spectrum, and just found him to be insanely annoying. I'd like to think that, knowing what I know now, I might have been more sympathetic, but to be honest, I almost certainly would have still found…

"Everyone is trying to take your guns. Hell, even I, the head of the NRA, want your guns. The only way to ensure that they can't take your guns is to fill your home to the brim with guns. There shouldn't even be room for you or your family in there, just guns. Your family can sleep under the stars in the…

Back in college, I played quizbowl, and I had a teammate who was…obsessed, to put it mildly…with Jeopardy. Our college town was the center of a very large, mostly rural market, and one day, tornado warnings for some of the counties on the edge of the market meant that J! was largely pre-empted, even though in town,…

Her sister, Debbie Allen, also got in, which is interesting because she was the Academy's go-to choreographer during the 80s and early 90s. It's sort of surprising that she's not already a member.