If you got a big thirst and are a gay Republican, reach for a cold-hearted, tall, orange bottle of Make America Great Again's Gay!

Star Wars was nominated for Best Picture. So was E.T. Speilberg was nominated for directing Close Encounters. Sigourney Weaver was nominated for Best Actress for Aliens. District 9 was nominated for Best Picture the first year the awards expanded. Avatar was nominated the next year, and almost certainly would…

Eh. The nominations for a voiceover Oscar most years would be five celebrities who were able to squeeze in recording time during a short break in their schedule. And, in all honesty, I can't think of any voiceover work this year that was so good it deserves an Oscar.

I think the De Vos hate came mostly because of how comically inept her conformation hearing was, since she didn't seem to understand basic questions about educational policy and suggested that we need guns in schools because some random elementary school in Wyoming might need one to shoot invading bears. As awful as…

Some movies get Oscars. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona.

I'm sort of surprised that I haven't seen it mentioned that something like this has happened before. At the 1991 Tonys, Anthony Quinn opened the envelope and announced that Lost in Yonkers had won Best Revival. The problem was that Lost in Yonkers was not a revival, and wasn't nominated in that category. It was,…

You can also see that funny black guy in the wholesome, not-racist-at-all family comedy The Toy, which opened a few months before Superman III.

I don't remember Miguel Ferrer. He's arguably better known for his TV work, but he did create RoboCop.

Welp…this will probably be the most talked about Oscar moment since…um…the streaker? Sacheen Littlefeather?

AND Sound Something Or Other!

I honestly thought he was saying he thought Moonlight should have won, like Adele saying Beyonce should have won her Grammy.

I guess this should permanently end the rumor that Jack Palance read the wrong name when Marisa Tomei won back in 1993.

I'm about 15 minutes behind…what the fuck? What the ever loving fuck? What the fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck????????????? How the fuck did they mess that up???????

Had to read the kid a story. So I'm watching it again now, just in time to hear The Rock sing a bit of "You're Welcome". I'll see you guys once I catch back up with the live broadcast.

Longest Oscar winner in history!

I'm glad most of the audience decided to save the standing O for the actual person, rather than the actress playing that person.

It's a good song, but is it a movie song?

Why are all these people wearing miniature clocks on their wrists? Don't they have smartphones to tell what time it is?

I don't think any Harry Potter movie has won an Oscar until right now…I'll have to double check that, but still…

The stars of that eternal classic Office Christmas Party!