He deserves it, but even if he didn't, I still want Ali to win if only because it's appropriate that the first award this year goes to an African-American Muslim.

"Since we all know Meryl won't be winning tonight, let's go ahead and honor her right now"

Damien Chazelle's beard and mustache seem like a desperate attempt to make it look like he's old enough to buy this case of Natty Light.

Oh good, Mel Gibson shaved and apparently gave his beard to Casey Affleck.

Have they ever opened an Oscars with one of the Original Song performances? I had to watch this movie over the weekend. It was pretty awful, but the song is catchy, at least, and there are no Trolls onstage, so that's good.

A gifted surgeon? Really? Unless this is Doogie Howser 2, I'm going to have trouble believing he's anything but a gifted pre-med student.

He'll probably be screening Ghosts Can't Do It, Home Alone 2, The Little Rascals, and assorted Playboy soft core videos at some point.

Our lieutenant governor, a former Rush Limbaugh wannabe that somehow became one of the two or three most powerful people in state government, desperately wants a bathroom bill of our own, despite the fact that pretty much every business in the state is very much against it. Unfortunately, our governor telegraphed his…

I'm actually fine with the stalls in our restrooms (big wooden doors that go all the way to the floor) but we have to share the facilities with the workers from an Annoying Tech & Telephone company that also has an office in our building, and those people make such a mess that building management actually had to put…

Hey, I like HuffPo, but I certainly wouldn't believe anything I read on there unless I can verify it from a real news source.

Sell? I figure he'd just give Alaska back as a birthday gift to Putin.

I don't agree with his Jew-killing policy, but I do approve of his gay-killing policy!

After all, what other action movie has opening credits involving deer feeding and ice cream eating? None, I tell you. None!

I'm not too surprised Rubio is trying to lay low. If he wants to mount a primary challenge in 2020, he needs to avoid saying and doing stupid stuff (and I have no doubt that, if the sentient Cheeto is still president in 2020, there will be a concentrated establishment effort to deny him the nomination).

Sadly, Gohmert is too stupid to understand he got burned.

To be fair, the rung he's on is a very, very high rung.

Kids movies can often do better business than you'd think, especially during the first couple months of the year. The Nut Job, Gnomio and Juliet, and Hoodwinked all hit theaters with zero expectations, and all ended up doing very good business. Odds are that Rock Dog won't follow in those footsteps, especially with…

Because Luke Wilson isn't Justin Timberlake?

Surf's Up was the surprise pick for the third and final nomination for Animated Feature in 2007. It was pretty much a placefiller, as the competition was between Ratatouille and Persepolis, but it did beat out several more prominent animated films for that slot, including Beowulf, Meet the Robinsons, Bee Movie, and…

I saw that at the store a couple weeks ago, and thought "Does anyone actually remember Surf's Up?" and "what the hell do wrestlers have to do with surfing penguins?"