Oceans rise, empires fall/Tonight I'm going to fuck you all.

I'm actually meeting a friend at a sushi buffet for lunch tomorrow. I've never really tried eel, but I've been inspired to have some.

I'm fine with the comparison, as long as the movie version of Milo's life also includes several scenes of Matt Czuchry naked, which of course will be the only scenes I ever see.

Ahh…The Road to Wellville…one of the first times young me learned that simply because a movie has an incredible cast, that does not mean it will be an incredible movie.

I'm amazed that, as of this morning, CPAC's chairman was still trying to defend his invite on ground of free speech. Look, I'm a free speech absolutist, so I'm perfectly OK with him singing the praises of sex with middle schoolers (I'm not OK with him or any other adult actually having sex with middle schoolers, of…

Given that Lansbury starred in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Disney's attempt to recreate the success of Mary Poppins, it's appropriate for her to be in their latest attempt to recreate the success of Mary Poppins.

Not to mention that people got murdered whenever she traveled. Jessica Fletcher is the greatest serial killer in recorded history.

Really? Over President The Rock?

I do remember some conservatives griping at the expense of some Obama foreign trips. I'm sure Trump's trips will be cheaper because he'll be staying only at the local branch of the luxurious Trump International Hotel and indeed will only visit cites that have Trump hotels.

I suspect it was because there wasn't much evidence there beyond the accusation. Mainstream media also largely ignored the non-statutory sexual assault allegations until the pussy audio surfaced.

Sadly, even if Cheeto actually admitted he regularly had sex with underaged girls, his hardcore fans probably wouldn't mind. They're probably the type of people who maintain countdown clocks toward the 18th birthday of teenage actresses and singers.

In color!

Hey, it's never too early to start campainging. The 2020 election is a mere 1,355 days away!

And that boy nobody liked turned out to be…Roy Cohn's protege, who became President of the United States. And now you know….the Reeeeeeeest of the Story.

Eh…I'm honestly not surprised that his numbers are still high there. Most people aren't going to renounce the candidate they voted for after only a month, especially if said candidate hasn't done anything really surprising. I mean, all of us here at the AV Club are reacting in horror at his actions, but we all had a…

As I said before, watch his numbers among GOP rank and file. If and when they begin to slip, you'll start hearing Republican congressmen start being shocked, shocked about what the president has been doing.

Yeah…once his numbers start falling among Republicans (who are still giving him very high approval ratings—roughly the same as Bushes Sr. and Jr. got in their first months in office), then I expect the GOP will be emboldened to try to get rid of him. But, unless this Russian thing manages to swarm so far out of…

Except they can't pass the horrible shit, because they never know when Cheeto will suddenly decide to turn populist and tweet out "Medicare is a right for ALL AMERICANS! DJT will NEVER tamper with it!" or something like that.

Departing guests will receive a supply of Rice-a-Roni. Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat!

Well, that one is legitimate.