welp it's more interesting than downvoting, which is pretty lame. that's right, sluggo. i may not like what you're saying, but I'll defend to the death your right to not get downvoted for it!

He should buy some Vin Diesel paintings. That kid's gonna be big.

You're the only one in the same way that a bag of dog shit is technically unique in its composition, maybe the dog ate more used tampons than an average dog, but it's still a bag of dog shit.

This is the second time I've seen you call out kanye for being homophobic, and for four albums in a row? Have you really listened to his work? He's one of the few mainstream rappers that is explicitly against homophobia. He spits a lot of conflicting anti-white and misogynist lyrics but he's always been against using…

My geocities page is bound to be profitable any day now.

It was about one woman's brave struggle with kleptomania. Her quest for inner peace was unfortunately derailed by a subplot about her brother-in-law's cancer and subsequent forays into small business that really dragged the momentum of the show down. In the end we realize that this derailment of the main storyline…

I hope your body is ready.

(Puts on pony costume)

How about Jewel reading Jewel's book of poetry? (They couldn't find anyone else)

Haven't cried this much since they got rid of Dr. Marvin Monroe and Bleeding Gums Murphy; arguably two of the most popular characters on the show.

Goodbye O'Neal it's easy to die
When nudisqus is killing your high

Eau de Cheese Monkey

Falling asleep to Endtroducing and waking up somewhere around Stem/Long Stem can definitely be a rude awakening

I can't wait for Norton, an intimate, quirky look at Jim Norton's life as an "indie" comedian, which mostly comprises of having sex with transsexual prostitutes and then crying himself to sleep.

Stop! Stop! She's already dead!

Negotiations for them to be paid in full for interviews could not be worked out. Also Eric B. demands to have his run for president take precedence over Barack O.'s.

"Ok I'll call you Garry just please stop yelling!"

well, the deadbeat part implies there's no responsibility… and I am hating da playa. you happen to be da playa, son. listen to me, I sound like Pepsi Sr.!

This was also written on Don Yelton's hand by one of his assisants but it unfortunately sweated off before his Daily Show interview.

You mean in the off-chance that someone will willingly bear your children?