Boogie Nights? Lovelace? Bowfinger?

The "expert" there is just completely, objectively wrong… "It is true that psychopathic sex killers have violent sexual fantasies"… this is nonsense; I've never had any violent sexual fantasies.

I am not terrible.

Yeah, that part just makes the story all the more weird and tragic.

All I can think of is that they want to hold on to the rights so that they can sell them to a legitimate production company.

Who's counting?

This really is so fucking strange, just all around — the idea of ashcan productions are one thing, but buying up infomercial time to air your shitty thing two days before the rights expire (when, according to the author's estate, the rights actually belong to an entirely different company) is just… fucking bizarre.

Best articles on it I've read so far:

Yeah, that's the thing, it would need to be cut down by, like 80% in order to be even remotely coherent as a t.v. series. I can't imagine it being done properly at all, except maybe as a Japanese anime-style cartoon series. It would be WAY too expensive to film live-action.

The rights were sold in 2005 and the author died in 2007 and the rights were extended through some weird contractual clause because of his death.

That joke was even better the second time!

Is there an A.V. Club article about the ludicrous "pilot" for a Wheel of Time series that aired on FXX yesterday morning and the fucking insane backstory behind it? Because there should be. Especially because the bad guy is played by Billy Zane.

Well, yes, but this is an especially pertinent article to discuss the happy, happy day.

See? You understand!

Sorry, work's been really busy, which has been cutting into my pretending-to-perv-on-teenagers-at-the-A.V. Club time.

You must be new here.

IN RELATED NEWS, today is Chloe Moretz' 18th Birthday!!!

I perfected my Kartheiser impression by locking my father in a box and dumping him in the ocean.

I like a nice thick bush of pubic hair on a woman, the kind you can twirl around your fingers and then pick her up by.

HOLY GOD I FUCKING LOVED THIS BAND!!! St. Joe on The Schoolbus is still high on my rotation of songs I listen to at least once a week.