They're the only thing I've ever related to in the Tolkein universe because they're really snobby and bitchy.

For a split second, I thought my mom had started posting here.
"Hi sweetie, they took the internet ban off at work. Why aren't you studying?"

I'm not even sick of him (I saw him in Parade's End and he was excellent), I'm just sick of his weird Cumberbitch fans and their Sherlock obsession.

And ye unto thee, I shall cometh back in Pog form.

Do they really have ginger elves or just elves who buy marked down Clairol boxes?

Laughed at the thought of Smaug saying "Shut up, baby, I know it!"

I kind of wish he'd get pregnant and go away for 2-3 years.

The Hobbit 2: The Search for More Money

Benedict Cumberbatch to voice dragon that also has tiny eyes that are maybe too close or too far apart and constantly tearing up like Judy Garland.

My Mom once told me to "stop being such a cunt and do the fucking dishes," so I have no barometer for what's normal talk between parents and kids. (Granted, my teen years were akin to The Exorcist in foul language.)

Goddamn, she looks like the premium version of Iggy Azalea.
Or rather, Iggy Azalea looks like a generic Ireland Baldwin.

Stone measurements still baffle me and bring to mind pictures of Monty Python and the Holy Grail-esque shenanigans where you get weighed in the public square on wooden basket scales.

You don't want to go out with me. I sleep with a retainer for my bottom teeth because they're mad crooked.

Tea Rex nailed it.

It still kind of blows.

Meet Me in the Middle

*hugs you through the bullshit of this culture*

An edgy sexy new Mr. Collins for a new generation.
Still smells his hands after he touches himself in public, but he's got a rockin' motorcycle and Ray Bans!

Aw, aren't overweight cats the most adorable and tragic thing ever?

I read the original book way too young (12) and it screwed me up. Not the sex parts, but her obsession with her weight. I was about 5'10" back then (very tall middle-schooler) and 130 lbs., and the character kept putting her weight up at the beginning of every chapter going "130 lbs., totally obese cow"
Had I been a…