I really did look like this until AV Club raped my childhood.

How much fuck meme.

I would pony up with another equine pun, but…

Muerto Grande

From the archives, another alternative history starring Taft:

In Heller's alternative history Cheerios aren't made from oats?

Polk was largely responsible for instigating the Mexican-American War, in which the US acquired about half of Mexico. Not our best moment, but I can't say if that's why Todd wants him dead. Well, he is dead now, but I mean back then.

Alan: Here's Jackie to tell you all how to rid the world of all
known diseases.

So Burns died in 1796, but one of his siblings had a child who lived to have a son in 1951? Fuck Jenny Craig, I'm starting a Scotch and haggis diet tomorrow.

Why some of my little friends are just five years old!

Something, something about a steamer.

Oop. Lentils!

Zeppo's funniest moment is in Duck Soup, when he walks in and realizes Harpo has cut his hat in half.

No Famous Comedians School?
No Danny Thomas spit take?

> You made the most important sci-fi film franchise irreverent in a modern world.

Mrs Crabtree
Jackie Cooper and I both had a lasting crush on June Marlowe.

None of you are old. I actually watched this show Sunday evenings on a new(!) Magnavox black & white TV that had a rotary channel knob that went from 2 to 13 (plus UHF), and you had to walk over to it to change channels, but you didn't mind that because you were constantly fiddling with the horizontal and vertical…

Giltfinger
Church Bingo Royale

Nogoodniks?
More like No-God-niks!

Cheddar? I hardly know 'er!