I'm attracted to this news in a sexual manner that is appropriate.

"One of your students is a BITCH."

Define "truly revolutionary".

That's probably my second favorite encapsulation of how lame Marge is, right behind the fact that she just thinks potatoes are neat.

No way, he's totally Dawesome.

Mark Hamill IS Nathan Detroit

Now I just want to play Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2.

Yeah, I feel like it was a stupid stunt (and the pictures didn't even turn out well), but the moral outrage over this is completely ridiculous and unnecessary.

Personally, I think The Knot is tied

Goddamnit.

No, Coors Light is for the cognitively impaired.

He's the college equivalent of Wooderson.

Toby Keith drunkenly slurs a bunch of words about a red plastic cup over a laid-back banjo line.

When he sent the neighbor over, I was finally totally convinced that he poisoned Brock. My heart sank a little.

When you're a Po'Boy, speed is the name of the game.

From the pilot:

I wanted to cry, but I was afraid I couldn't spare the moisture.

This is everything that is wonderful: http://www.youtube.com/watc…

There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to
adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make
it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we
will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will
control the vertical. We will control…

AFAIK, the band quit supporting Alive & Well in 2004; Nate Mendel is still an outspoken dipshit about it but the rest of the band seems to have backed down from it.