See, as someone who got hitched in front of the local mayor and immediate family, including his 78 year-old mother in law, who slipped and broke her shoulder before the ceremony, which was also interrupted by the town fire alarm — I kind of feel like if we make it to 20 or 25 years, my wife should have a renewal thing…

Ah, DPA, sometimes you know me better than I know myself.

@hem - what's a chav?

I have no idea what the elements required to even construct a joke out of those ideas would be, Lobsty.

Hey, fuckin' lay off mayonnaise, you infidels! Buy the Smart Balance Omega 3 shit and prepare for maximum deliciousness, whatever the circumstance.

http://www.fox.com/humantar…

Unit Patrol!
Unit Patrol!

If you give him a hug, your outlines will be etched into the side of the building when the squidgina monster hits.

"3 1/2 D'Onofrio units"

None of this would matter if I could just get my a la carte cable package from those fuckers at Comcast.

He has the right sideburns in this video:

ugh, fuck you

You said it, Bossasaur.

"Your name, sir?"

Also, your efforts will be slowed by your dependence on a cane.

He is outperformed by Dr. Flasheart, and retreats into a stupor that causes him to have a personality schism, from which he emerges super-sunny, optimistic, and dumb as a post.

http://imageshack.us/photo/…

"…a sequel to the Billy Connolly cult fave, Fido…"

Either you or your nose did.

The headline is all coded language for "Brown Bunny II".