FROM MY CLAMMY, SWEATY HANDS

I have no idea why I thought I could be the first one to make this joke.

Ah, the innocence of childhood, when I could watch an unsimulated cat vs. bear fight and not realize there must have been an entire dumpster full of dead animals somewhere not far out of frame.

You know what, man: you're right. Let's do it! *throws away every single film I own except for one of those "turn your TV into an aquarium" DVDs and maybe my old VHS copy of "Milo & Otis"*

It's like the Criterion.com forums equivalent of A7x fan, holy shit.

The Generic British accent is a common dialect not only among the British themselves, but also for Ancient Greeks/Romans, angelic beings, mostly-human-looking alien races, any time period before 1900, certain evil AI programs, and a seemingly random assortment of Hobbits.

Now I'm really looking forward to the posters and/or DVD cover for this movie.

Good thing you apologized; I'm pretty sure Jane Austen posts here and the slightest thing makes her faint dead away.

Run the Jowls!

Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Mersh for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particulary glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

Automatically read this in the voice of Frank Reynolds, interspersed with grunts and wheezes. Upvoted for that reason.

"The End, Part 2 of 2" | 9 p.m. on CW, 60 minutes 2067 (TV-14)

The Oz stuff feels like the entire Supernatural cast and crew woke up one morning violently hungover, surrounded by mountains of empties and cocaine residue, and they all stumbled around for awhile in confusion before the gradually dawning horror sets in as they realize that oh, fuck, remember how we were joking about…

No no, you could tell Anakin and Padme were sad because the soundtrack was a female-vocal aria going "uhhh-HUHHHHHAHHHHHH".

I'd really love for you to clarify how "propriety" ever, ever enters into how much or how little one enjoys a movie. I'm not being facetious. If you're saying that people should abstain from the kind of borderline-psychotic vitriol that led to Jake Lloyd getting death threats, I agree wholeheartedly. If you're saying…

Attempts to reinflate the victim with a bicycle pump were unsuccessful. He was pronounced dead at the scene when paramedics noticed a translucent, haloed ghost emerge from the body and float off into heaven; the ghost was later described as wearing white robes and strumming a cute little harp.

I saw "Speed Racer" twice opening weekend, despite never having watched more than a few episodes of the show after school as a kid. The first time was purely out of curiosity and a lack of anything better to do; the second was because I realized I'd spent all day grinning involuntarily whenever I started replaying the…

Wait, so I'm NOT the only one who cues up as much of Nebraska as I can afford to play at bar jukeboxes? Do you also get grimly silent nods of approval from burly blue-collar strangers when you do? Because that's my favorite part.

You dated Miranda July? What was she like in the sack? Was it awkward and sad? I bet it was awkward and sad!

I've waited my entire life for a 'jaunty ____ ' reply.