You are partially right. I couldn't come up with anything nearly as clever as ZMF, so I just didn't try.

Now THAT'S a column that absolutely must include video links.

Okay, that's pretty funny. Not what the letters mean, but I give you 10 points for an excellent effort.

Well, guys get excited pretty easily, in my experience.

Okay, that post wins for funniest so far. Way to go AJR, if I was still at work, I'd have to be holding back the snickers right now.

I will join with the mayo hate. Although I have to admit I had no idea how it was actually manufactured until I read AJR's insightful commentary. Kudos!

I'd like to know who WOULD put used tampons on their salad. This sounds like a fifth grade dare gone horribly wrong.

I'm pretty sure Lemur is female, so I think her mother would be more shocked than anything if she was trying to be a big boy, on the internet or elsewhere.

What the hell is your mouth doing in your pants?

To prove I am the ultimate in whiteness and northerness, I'm not even aware of what rap is. Isn't that what you do to gift boxes before you give the receipient the present?

Um…
"It's so anticlimactic." "It won't be when we're all asleep at our desks in five minutes."

You know, sometimes when I actually listen to the lyrics, I am struck by how nonsensical they are. But then I remember being drunk and with my friends and just keep humming along. I can still remember singing Bush songs karakoe style with Matt and Finn. Makes me want to slam a bottle of Boone's Farm and pass out.

How wrong is it…
that I not only know, but actually LIKE (present tense) over half the songs on this list? A lot of these are still on my iPod playlists. I really like bad music! Oh shit!

How many eps are reviewed each week…
is, of course, discretionary, but I agree with some of the others that the really good eps are going to need (are you are going to want) deeper exploration. However, when you run into a string of basically "blah" eps like this, I'd rather you did more of them, just so we can move…

Quotes out of context
"That is almost impossibly foul. There's a whole bouquet of incredibly awful flavors they've managed to pack in there."

Actually, you'll never know what is going on, mythology wise. Other than the general idea that there are aliens, they want to colonize the planet, and there is a shadow conspiracy of men within the government working with them. The specifics, however, get very, very muddled.

I agree with your decision, Keith. Yeah, the 1st Season has some real clunkers, but all new shows have growing pains, and without it you don't get the foundation for the rest of the show. I'm rewatching them all right now (I'm midway through Season 7).

I don't know about that - I think a lot of the episodes in Season 3 and 4 are literally the best of the show. However, given some of the real clunkers in Season 1, as well as the normal growing pains, maybe the really good eps just stand out more in contrast to the painfully awkward eps, something the middle seasons…

I was wrong, it's not that late in the season - Episode 8. Clearly, I need to brush up on my X-Files trivia.

Best Squeeze quote
"Oh my god, Mulder, it smells like…I think it's bile."