Damn.
There goes my idea to do a cover of "One Less Lonely Girl" dedicated to G-melie.

FLEAS ON PARADE

I'll blog the shit out of you
Sign me up!

I've got a nine layer supreme burrito for you, if you catch my drift.

Doesn't this belong in the Hater?

Amelie
Why did you delete my post on the last hater entry? Was it too real for you? Are you afraid to let down your wall of sarcasm and meta-irony that you've built up all these years, to get a glimpse of real, raw, dirty, sweaty, authentic emotion? Don't be afraid of your feelings, my love. Embrace them.

Amelie
Amelie, my love, have you never experienced the ultimate intimacy? That feeling you get post-coitus, when you gaze into your lover's eyes and see all of creation reflected in them? Everything that is, was, and will ever be? When two souls are united as one, in sexual harmony you both ring out screams that echo…

I'm not your trained monkey.

Women's Self-Defense classes are a joke. And pepper spray hasn't stopped me before.

Who the Fuck
I have a bigger dick than Baratunde Thurston. Much bigger.

Amelie wins the People's Choice Award…
for hottest internet commentator-person

mmmmm
I want to slather you in hot coco butter and have you spank me in the ass with a ham sandwich. Make me call you Mommy.

My New Year's Resolution:
Lose weight for Amelie.

Happy New Year
Amelie