Alternate lines, also rejected by Kesha:

I hear he is against wind power though.

Shouldn't it be 'baitin'?

I realized that what I hate about the Grammys is what I hate about Top 40 radio. The songs are mostly shit. 21 Pilots, that song about once I was 7 years old, etc. Totally forgettable garbage.

Don't be so hard on yourselves.

Thank you John, I look forward to every column. And I don't even watch that much football.

I thought it was perhaps the whitest question ever. "As a white stoner, what can I like, do or whatever, to like, make weed more, uh, sustainable and fair trade? Or like, more diverse I guess? I don't want my self-referential white guilt to harsh my mellow, man. I want my smoking to sort of help the brown people, you…

Sounds wet.

"How can I, as a consumer but industry outsider, help to ensure more diversity in the legal selling business?"

Who gave us Trump?

Are you not entertained, sir? Are you not ENTERTAINED?

Ain't no blowjob party like my nana's blowjob party.

Play your cards right, you'll grow up to be a KITCHEN fire!

Is that Richard Motherfuckin Branson?

Skinned alive eh? These claims stretch credulity to the breaking point.

I can so identify with the scene of pronoun correction described above. My friend's son is identifying now as gender queer and won't stop correcting every single person about every fucking pronoun slip up. I said: look, I've known you for 15 years, since you were born, and I've used pronouns the same way for decades…

Specially in that Houston humidity.

Rapaport is a pile.

Well he didn't hit her, he was just a giant douchebag.

Well, I hate all musicals.