Your bodyguard's most important stat will always be HP.

Wynnsome Dove.

I remember seeing them and worrying that shitty 90s stand up was coming back in style.

They alive, dammit!

Like a quirky Grudge ghost.

I'm sorry but the ads are really trying to convince me you are wrong.

Jonas Venture Sr may have been a monster, but at least he managed to defeat L Ron Hubbard.

Their twitter response last night was amazing. Tweet after Tweet declaring the documentary "boring, zzzzzzzzzzz". Well played, Scientology, now Fry will never see it.

I'm going to give Noah the same treatment I gave Jon. I'm going to dislike him as a replacement, then pretend I've always loved him after he demolishes Tucker Carlson on Crossfire.

I don't think I ever laughed this hard at a comment before.

I loved The Rock as Clark Kent/Superman. Classic sketch.

I had to look up palimpsest.

Shouldn't that be "ectoterrorists"?

I saw that in another post, and I still can't get over how up-fuckingly bad it is at doing anything but making them look like shitheads with a lot to hide.

Chestastic.

That rebuttal video is so fucking bonkers. "This isn't a prison camp, here are shots of empty rooms. Not a prison camp, see? More empty rooms, how unlike a prison camp all of this is. The bad director compared us to ants. The angry former Scientologist now lives in a regular home, not these opulent, empty buildings…

I don't hate this choice. I don't hate it at all!

Mods, please change my name to Dreamworks Dance Party, tia.

This comments section did not disappoint.

Thanks, I knew I wasn't crazy.