When Romney's elected, the Obaminati will have to release the time machine they've been keeping under wraps in Kenya. And when that happens, I'll bet tons of people will go back and buy lots of copies of The Velvet Underground and Nico, so it won't feel so tragically lonely in the pantheon of ahead-of-their-time…

Yeah, that would be an interesting song to cover! You know, I'll bet a kind of minimalist thing, maybe recorded in a church… I'm getting on this right now!

Yeah, that would be an interesting song to cover! You know, I'll bet a kind of minimalist thing, maybe recorded in a church… I'm getting on this right now!

I think that was my point, before I got off track thinking about The Running Man. But yeah, it could be pretty low budget, as long as they got good actors. Who do you think could play Ray Garrity? He was athletic, but I pictured him as kind of a dork, too.

I think that was my point, before I got off track thinking about The Running Man. But yeah, it could be pretty low budget, as long as they got good actors. Who do you think could play Ray Garrity? He was athletic, but I pictured him as kind of a dork, too.

I doubt any studio would have the sack to do a straight adaptation, because it's just too bleak. Kind of like how I wish someone would do a faithful adaptation of The Running Man. Unfortunately, a final scene in which the hero flies a plane into The Man's building would be problematic.

I doubt any studio would have the sack to do a straight adaptation, because it's just too bleak. Kind of like how I wish someone would do a faithful adaptation of The Running Man. Unfortunately, a final scene in which the hero flies a plane into The Man's building would be problematic.

That's the one that sticks out in my mind too… and I think it was Melinda Dillon, from Close Encounters and A Christmas Story. I used to find her attractive, in a I-had-a-wet-dream-about-your-mom kind of way. Who am I kidding? Still do.

That's the one that sticks out in my mind too… and I think it was Melinda Dillon, from Close Encounters and A Christmas Story. I used to find her attractive, in a I-had-a-wet-dream-about-your-mom kind of way. Who am I kidding? Still do.

Wow. I can't think of anything more awesomely nerdy than checking an Ernest/Vern commercial compilation from a library. I tip my hat to you, Pig Iron Maiden.

Wow. I can't think of anything more awesomely nerdy than checking an Ernest/Vern commercial compilation from a library. I tip my hat to you, Pig Iron Maiden.

I once had a band called Brocktoon… absolutely no one got it. It's nice to know that if you were there, you would have maybe smiled and nodded, validating an otherwise stupid decision.

I once had a band called Brocktoon… absolutely no one got it. It's nice to know that if you were there, you would have maybe smiled and nodded, validating an otherwise stupid decision.

Body paint! It would put a whole new weird dynamic into the scenes if everyone's junk was hanging out, covered in paint.

Body paint! It would put a whole new weird dynamic into the scenes if everyone's junk was hanging out, covered in paint.

Imma have to go with 'sadsturbating.' It's a pretty special subtype of Onanism… kind of analogous to breakup sex.

Imma have to go with 'sadsturbating.' It's a pretty special subtype of Onanism… kind of analogous to breakup sex.

Insofar as biopics are good at raising awareness about dead people's careers, Scott Joplin deserves another biopic. There was one in the 70s starring Billy Dee Williams, a mind-boggling casting decision if ever there was one. Joplin's life was made for the format; he became commercially successful early on, couldn't…

Insofar as biopics are good at raising awareness about dead people's careers, Scott Joplin deserves another biopic. There was one in the 70s starring Billy Dee Williams, a mind-boggling casting decision if ever there was one. Joplin's life was made for the format; he became commercially successful early on, couldn't…

A coworker saw this over the weekend, and yesterday informed us it is the funniest movie. It is so great. It took a Herculean amount of restraint not to make a shitty comment about Kevin James, Mall Cop, King of Queens, Grownups, I Now Pronounce You Gay Panic Jokes, etc.