Tee-Ball On The Planet of the Apes

The "NuTrek" films and the simple passage of time have pretty much shut down any possibility of Next Generation films, but if the series about to debut, or some future one, is successful I wouldn't rule out another TV-driven franchise.

Probably, but the greater incidence of chimp attacks may partly be due to people being more likely to let their guard down in the first place. An angry chimp can seriously mame you, but an angry gorilla could probably take you out with one blow.

Whatever disease killed the dogs and cats might well have also gotten the foxes and coyotes and bobcats and cheetahs (the world's population of the last of those apparently being descended from animals domesticated by the ancient Egyptians anyway). But clearly there are a lot of animals that would be better…

I don't think it was severed, I remember it as seeing him fully taxidermy-mounted in a museum.

If I were gonna have a pet chimp in the house, as Conquest proposed people were doing, I'd probably wanna have a large caliber sidearm at all times. If it were a gorilla, I'd probably go for a submachinegun.

I actually think the ape-butler idea is a pretty clever display of the "unintended consequences" that so often drive history, rather than the conventional railroad narrative that a lot of popular science fiction favors. Plenty of people wish their pets could do something useful, so when they find themselves with pet…

It's one of the more startlingly cheap-looking, and feeling, major studio movies I've ever seen. There were a lot of contemporary "grind house" pictures that still felt less like a TV movie than Battle did. The much more recent Star Trek: Insurrection accomplished a similar effect on a bigger budget.

Voiced by the great Paul Frees, as I recall.

It's Anderson, so… both.

She was the member of that cast I always most pitied, because she looked the most aware of what a trainwreck she was participating in.

I don't have much an an ear for authentic accents, but I had assumed at the time that was legit, 'cause there was no discernible reason for the character to be Irish.

Male orangutans are known to be a bit rapey, I think. They've also been reported to nab people on jungle trails and tear their clothes off.

You could make a lot of money at the track with that kind of luck!

Good point, but the review was implying that this film was posturing a bit about the aberrance of human violence.

As I noted elsewhere here, apparently gorillas aren't quite the pacifists previous generations of primatologists led us to believe: https://www.theatlantic.com…

I've read a number of things over the years indicating its a lot more systematic and sustained than you're asserting — along these lines: http://www.nytimes.com/2010… — not too far off what the most technologically primitive human tribes do. If they were more advanced in their tool-making and using capabilities,…

Of course, any theme that plays up chimps being appalled by human warfare is on-it's-face kind of goofy, given that chimps can be pretty damn violent in their own right, and actually wage tribal wars and perpetrate violent feuds and revenge-killings in the wild.

We can stretch this even further if the virus the Church releases doesn't actually "reverse" anything — it ends up just killing apes while making rodents superintelligent, paving the way for Rise of the Planet of the Squirrels…

That's your answer for everything!