If you hold your breath do your balls turn blue?

"But, honey, all the other guys are taking their penises."

The AV Club! Source of and solution to all of life's problems.

wtf is cable lol

"Pssst… hey man, it's me"
"Who?"
"It's me, man, it's Ollie."
"Ollie? Who?"
"Oliver North"
"Who?"
"It's me, man, it's me, I got the stuff, let me in."
"Ollie's not here."

Mr. White watching Pulp Fiction with his parents.
Great comment / username synergy.

Old? Get off my lawn, kid. I was in college at that time.

I was an 80's teen playing SLAYER full blast in the house. Sorry Mom & Dad.

Did his wife kill him with an ax while he was in a bath?

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper.

Metallica's "The Thing That Should Not Be." Finally some Lovecraft.

Pride of prostitutes?

"Of course we are French. That's why we have these outrageous accents!"

But will it have repeating rapid fire crossbows?

Gentle Herpes could be our Billy Dee Williams token old guy.

Damn. I like to upvote your comments, Sean, but I can't upvote the idea that you won't live to be 76. [frowny face emoticon]

Sean, when you're 76, would you be on Dancing with the Stars?

Dude, like more puns will stem from this seed.

Nah, man, it feels really mellow. You with me? Mellow…mellow…mellow…

12 Years a Frenchman