When I was a kid, I was deeply confused by the fact that cartoons from the 1930s-1940s looked so much better than modern cartoons. Did they hate children in the 1960s and 1970s? Is that what was going on?

Dammit, you philistines! It's pronounced Ghibli! Am I the only one hearing this?

I just watched it again (for what must be the third time) with my young niece over Thanksgiving. That movie is an epic (in length and in theme). As far as kid's movies go, I would only show it to bizarre and precocious children — like my niece.

Fox News basically pays off public spaces, like airports, to project their Candyland Stories non-stop. If a news network broadcasts to an empty room, is it really the most watched?

That's great. Now I'll pull out of the drive-in and get burned by 400 degree ass water.

Facebook is the Microsoft Word of social media applications. Ubiquitous in its ubiquity and succeeding only in the area of success. A triumph of marketing over technology.

For me, the best streaming application is usually a plain old internet browser. So a laptop connected to a modern TV via a simple HDMI cable is better than wondering where the hell my queue is every time I pop open Netflix or whatever. I mean, what's the point of having a queue if the application buries it in an…

It's pretty good if you haven't seen The Sixth Sense, any of the Insidious or Conjuring movies, any ghost movies produced by Mr. Del Toro, or any ghostly movies from Japan over the last 20 years. Also, the synth score by Disasterpeace is pretty good if you haven't heard their score for Fez.

The original Cabin Fever was one of those horror movies where you quake in fear that all of the characters might not die horribly.

Hmmm, I'm getting a really strong 80s synth vibe from this. A little bit "Frankie Goes to Hollywood," maybe a little Marc Almond by way of "Coil," and some Patrick Cowley during the Sylvester years. Really good Menergy to these tunes. Gets you pumped up for a visit to a gym, a club or some sunbathing in the nude.

I will be deeply astonished if this movie is anywhere near as good as Peter Bagge's funnybook. Peter Bagge: Making you think twice about Libertarians.

From that point on, all of Kanye's beats were sampled from your great grandmother's Julio Iglesias records. And his raps all had rich, heartwarming melodies.

The Alderaanocaust is a lie! Vader did nothing wrong.

Lotta folks here saying, “I don’t recognize this list. I am old.” Welcome to the new age. All you have to do is copy/paste the names of these bands and albums into YouTube and you’re not clueless anymore. Remember: Obscurity died a long time ago.

I remember the first time I heard the Democrats blaming the destroyed economy on economy-destroyer George W. Bush. I thought, "Wow, George W. spent so much time blaming Clinton for everything, that the concept of blaming the previous guy has lost its power. I wonder if that was his long game all along?"

You know how when you become a teenager and you discover that all of that Walt Disney bullshit is just Walt Disney bullshit? How the world is much harder, uglier and considerably less fair than you were led to believe? How you'll actually wallow in this discovery and read a book about John Wayne Gacy or listen…

They're forcing my daughter to shower with a man because nobody knows which bathroom to use anymore!

I am usually not a stickler for movie adaptations of books being true to their sources. Different mediums and all of that. But honestly, I thought that High-Rise was a disappointing piece of shit that missed the point entirely. So I guess it had that in common with Snowpiercer as well.

He gave us the gift of laughter. Braying, mocking laughter.

"When 900 year old you reach, look as good you will not."