Mane of CARAMEL hair. When skeeving, it's important to compare people to food.

But like, not a great food writer. "Puddle of lime juice"? Why not just say "wilting in lime juice"? Puddles of things are not attractive.

Shit that hasn't worked for like…lots of other races though. Like, every other one. All the races.

Was Logan not EXTREMELY gritty? Where's the line there?

But what stops a bad Power Ranger with a dagger that's also a flute and a fuckin' Dragon Zord with like a, I don't know, a fuckin' drill tail thing going on? What the fuck stops that? HUH?

Fine. You're cool with it being all while people, right? Why yes, I do own a monkey's paw.

Kiiiiiiind of. For the life of me I can't figure why they'd hire two actors who CANNOT SING AT ALL if they were going to do the songs. And that weird half assed "talk sing" thing they did with the songs was such a tease. Do a musical number or don't! That part felt like Favreau checking a box more than any other.

He didn't remember. This is every day for him.

Is that really it? I would have bet money on "Dead Dad was a cartoonist who taught him how to draw, he has an emotional moment between acts 2 and 3 reminiscing with Mom before she tells him to get out there and kick ass for his father who is beastly dead."

Laura's post on THE CHARACTERS reminded me how Netflix has a real problem promoting their shows in-app. Several times I've scrolled right past THE CHARACTERS and never felt compelled to check it out, although I really liked this clip. I never stopped though because I'd never heard of it, and Netflix's bare-bones…

But, but, the White House wasn't built ENTIRELY by slaves! There were paid immigrant laborers there, too! So, therefore, obviously, it wasn't built by slaves and Michelle Obama is reverse-racist for saying that. Or something.

I'm just watching JJ now so I missed all the conversation around it, but my biggest problem with Luke is far from his invulnerability—it's that that actor is a charisma hole. Don't get me wrong, he looks the part exactly, but I can't figure out why they direct him to play Luke as so damn sleepy! Every scene he's just…

Sure, or the Soylent Green trailer, which, in between telling you everything, beats you over the head with the idea that Soylent Green's secret ingredient is a big twist. (For those who guessed hamsters—you're right!) It isn't new, but this kind of trailer seems to be enjoying a resurgence and that sucks.

Also the "The Space Between Us" is a thing of beauty for the "trailer that shows every damn plot point" genre.

Mad TV ran until fucking 2009!?

Kate McKinnon cranks my engine. Like, only 40% in a cartoon-wolf-whistling-head way, and 60% an instantly-want-to-have-a-storybook-romance-with-this-person type way. I'd never seen her until Ghostbusters and I was just smitten.

Saw the trailer for this before Ghostbusters the other day and I have to say, I can't stand this trend of showing not just a movie's twists in the trailer, but every damn plot point that happens along the way.

I don't say this often but I'm saying it now: fuck you, your state is the fucking worst. You guys tried to cockblock Alaska changing Mt. McKinley to Denali. Who the fuck tries to fuck with what another state names their mountains?

I also think it looks fun. It'll never be "defining Arthur," but I think playing up Arthur's outsider childhood is at least a distinct choice, and I can dig the full on fantasy. It won't surprise me if it turns out to be terrible, but I'm at least hopeful.

Bermuda. Newb.