Because there's lights out tonight and trouble in the shartland?

Eh, let him go. He fixed the soda machine.

I'm surprised that the Village People would stand for something like that.

Sir, if you don't leave, we'll have to call the authorities.

Never engage in a swordfight with someone named True Pud.

Her. Gwyneth Paltrow is a woman.

This'll hold you over til then, Scawler:

Man, those gay sci-fi nerds don't fuck around!

So, you dreamed you were in the video for Two Princes??

Yeah, well….

Well, if that's a photo of you, then I'm halfway there!

How could I forget. Oh shit. HE knows about that???

Kevin Smith emerges with a cheeseburger. Smith farts.

There. I just helped you confront your fears, Slops.

THAT'S the hard part?

Hey, unlike you, she was still able to pull Christina Ricci looking like that!

Here he is, post-smoking crack:

Yeah, go clean up booths 3 and 7. When you're done with that, we need you to scour the pole.

Perv thread's ^ ^ ^ ^ that a way

Squint your eyes and pretend he's Betty Ford.