Sounds familiar
Planes Trains and Automobiles.

What he should have said in this interview…
was nothing.

Dude, how much can Joey Bagodous drink?

Not Native Americans
Leave it to the Indians to use every part of the owl.

May I suggest a bus as your mode of transportation?

I'm writing in a vote for Johann…

Wow. I haven't heard those douchey "play a real instrument" remarks since Guitar Hero 3 was popular.

I like to put dick slices on my Cheerios.

Priya vs. Bernadette
The microbiologist in me would say Bernadette, but Priya is far more attractive. Maybe if we could see Bernadette not dressed nerdy in a waitress uniform she could win.

Sheldon
I thought it was a little strange the he cared about Leonard sleeping with Priya.

In Soviet Russia…
Comments like this are still fresh and witty!

SHEEP!

True cameleopard. It is where we buy our bottles of wooder.

I misread the article. At first I thought Jenny McCarthy was a big proponent of the book, but she just wrote a competing book. Sorry.

Actually
As much as I hate Jenny McCarthy, "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" is actually a really handy book. My wife has a PhD in Reproductive Physiology and still got some good info out of it.

I'm from Philadelphia
So Acme supplies me with groceries.

Wait…
Today is Labour Day? Why am I at work?

Even after that Invictus humiliation?

I'd like to see John Hodgeman as Smaug.

It looks like Mel's role was TAKEN!