So how quickly will they go to the "Opposite Homers strangle Opposite Barts" well in this episode? Over/under set at 3:30 (including the theme song).

This. I have at least 2 160GB iPods floating in the aether of my apartment. This article almost gives me the motivation to get up and find them.

Have you read the full extent of that case? He "allegedly" put her in a chokehold and almost killed her, among other absolutely atrocious acts. And yet, he'll play this entire season because his trial got pushed to 2015. Fuckin' bastard.

It seems completely unlike ElDan to bury that many perfectly-usable prostitute corpses. Hence the smell.

That sounds like the perfect game show for Chip Gardner to host.

My question: why does only one of those players (Eli Manning) actually have the right jersey on? Urlacher and Ward are retired, Freeney's on the Chargers, and Peyton's on the Broncos. My god, NBC, have you not been watching the games you televise?

Hilariously enough, they're using the most flag-prone refs from the preseason, the ones calling all those defensive holding and pass interference penalties that became more strictly enforced because of the way the Seahawks' DBs played last year.

*jaunty music*

Now I'm imagining a sequence of infinite McEnroe head mitoses, as the camera pulls back to reveal a never ending field of McEnroe heads, all simultaneously screaming, "Fuck you, you and your motherfucking tall chair!"

Man, these gimmick accounts are getting out of control

Well Sam seems to be on night duty a lot, so it can't be fun trying to come up with yet ANOTHER article about Netflix buying the streaming rights to something. For what the subject was, I thought it was a pretty witty opening.

Sexual addiction? You mean like when you smoke too many cigarettes? Or ya do too many of the scratchy lotteries?

He kinda telegraphed it by not having anyone check their totem or even interact with the others to make sure that they had made it to the right level safely. Everyone in the audience was waiting for that boring "getting off the plane and going home" sequence to end so we would finally fucking know whether he made it…

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sorry, but that show is just bad now. It had the great fortune of being in an almost barren miniseries/movie category, and even then you could argue (as I have in this comments section somewhere) that at least one of them was completely bogus (Bates). Notice the acting won, but the show itself had no chance.

Eh, I sorta lumped JLD's win in there, so I didn't include it. But my god, is that show funny. It's criminal that Tony Hale lost supporting actor to, you guessed it, some douche from Modern Family.

Maybe they're really bored of JLD's face? That's all I could come up with over the last 10 minutes.

I felt weird even writing it down in regards to the Emmys. There are several shows that get a ton of critical praise and then totally disappear during Emmy season, especially comedies. I'm pretty sure this has a lot to do with the voters never venturing outside major networks for comedy nominees

Well, the way they ignored everything Netflix-related this year makes me think they're not looking even that far outside the box. But Mad Men will almost certainly get everything AMC has so they can maybe build some lasting prestige before they lose all their even half-decent shows. But I still think GoT could steal…

Review. Broad City. Silicon Valley. Archer. Orange is the New Black.