You know what's a shitty mistake? Making fun of someone with cancer for having a haircut WHILE you and your husband advocate for school segregation.

"Hey you know the one thing you like about our website, now that we've gotten rid of almost everything else?

He has some tendon-cies that could hamstring his success however.

It gets expensive though—cost me an arm and a…lawsuit from all those people the lion turned on after eating my arm.

http://guzzlefish1.cbsistat…

Theay bettah nawt test the prawducts awn anirmals neithah!

I'm just saying NOW I understand why Ed Sheeran is so popular.

That's why he plays quarterback and not center.

Her mom got rich from inventing doing "duck face" in pictures.

From an '80s throwback to a '90s one: NBC! Network television's upside down!

I'm sorry, but Samuel L gets that every time. I love you, JCR, but the man has a gift.

He is to baby boomers what Willow Smith is to Millennials and I guess what Carrie Fisher was to the Greatest Generation.

The Pope's right not to fall for that one. It COULD be on there, but even if it were, you aren't reading it. Not when you can use your phone for Candy Crush and jerking off.

"The shelves look whiter than usual."

Wait until we realize that one of the only industries affected was the heavily women-run publishing industry.

"We care enough about gender equality to demonstrate that we actually don't!"

In their defense, they're trying to explain complete nonsense. It's not that they're malformed, it's that no one is contorted enough for this shit.

Leave Ted Cruz's dad out of this!

Huh. But that would mean that Obama deporting more people than any other president is…NOT great?!

I assumed that "gender-swapped" meant this movie was going to be like Rod Schneider's "The Hot Chick," which starred…you guessed it: Anna Faris.