Is Gretchen Carlson still there? Between all of the Ailes sexual harassment and a lifetime of not giving a shit about any of these people I've lost track.

They're not substantive; they're just reflexively contrarian. Now that the president is a Republican, they're against Republicans.

That's how I get Midol to talk!

As a kid, I had no idea that Happy Days was made roughly equidistant from the time it depicted as from the time when I was watching it. I guess I thought it was legit from the '50s.

Are you kidding? It gives them so much material, just like the first season of That '70s Show:

And his constant attempts at impressing that hot lady.

I legit forgot about the biggest twist in the entire space opera when I wrote that comment. I'd like to think that's a pretty big indictment of the prequels and not me.

Fortunately, she outlived my interest in The Matrix.

Whether the Wampa is an endangered species or has some sort of right of personhood (for example like Chewbacca, Wampas can own weapons and fly spaceships, but don't get medals), Jedi sure don't mind cutting off arms whenever it suits them.

"I DRINK YOUR BLUE MILKSHAKE!"

What part of the prequels made you think parents make Star Wars better?

Yeah, we all know space cigarettes are from the Alien franchise's universe.

I feel like Star Wars has a plan built in for this: Just have her get attacked by an abominable snowman in the first scene to cover up any changes to her appearance.

Isn't that exactly what Star Wars is based on?

The wrong parent died!

I know what you mean. I root for him in the same way that I root for a baseball team—by not watching and feeling good when I hear they did well.

I think the GOP blew their load on that one already. The last guy they did that to (a centrist Democrat) has a really high approval rating, and Sanders is the most liked politician in the country.

I mean, as someone who can be pretty socially anxious, I find that board games are a nice way to socialize—you've got a built in topic of conversation that you can always come back to anchor the whole thing!

My comments are all above average.

Did you see his bizarre use of punctuation and spelling on the new album? It's either drugs or Satanism, and neither one is going to get him back to Prairie Home Companion any time soon!