If this is Michael Jackson hero worship, then I think we've got some other big problems on the horizon…

Jewish/rapper puns? And no one has…well then I guess it'll have to be me. Better drake than never.

I wish they'd g-oi vey!

Let's hope this is pop culture news and nothing more.

Tell me all your thoughts on God…

If I had to choose between them and Dishwalla, I wouldn't remember which is which.

♫ I wish they all could be Calais giiiiiiiirls♪

Technically they can have three of them. But they're not very long.

"Many Bothans gave up their weekends to get us this information. Otherwise it went really smoothly."

Look, it's a big fucking universe, okay? If you want to be upset, get upset that there's only, like, one family and they RUN INTO each other in space all the time.

Everyone else left the "Rebros Alliance" due to its lack of concern with intersectional rebellion.

I see you don't subscribe to Hasbro's "Boba Fett Hypothesis."

Nor can we forget how Leia's constantly saying racist things about Chewbacca and how the Rebels send Bonthans to do their dirty work at a great cost of life.

I don't think we have a very good track record of solving race by calling it a "non-issue" in any way.

Nah. This movie has languished in development limbo for nearly a decade (originally starring Keanu Reeves and Emily Blunt!). It's going to be remembered as "Bad Solaris Knockoff #37" if it's remembered at all.

Laurence Fishburn is in on it the whole time!

Didn't we create a minor holiday, the point of which is to go to the record store and buy stuff?

I guess it was less "yes" than "sorry."

It's not a crazy thing to say!

Increasingly that's going to be how we think of Will Smith: The man who elevated everything he was in, both through his charisma and his uniformly terrible taste in projects.