If you're named Thunder Levin, you really have no other choice in life but to write Sharknado movies.

Oh yeah, Mr. Toad?!

And if that idiot needs heart surgery in thirty years, I don't want Medicare to cover it. Why should I pay for his decision?

I'm 6' and a couple summers back I dated a woman who was actually my height. I have to say, it was really nice not having to duck down to kiss her.

I'm sure that it's not the case, but part of me thinks Wisconsin now looks like the beginning of a Terminator movie thanks to Scott Walker.

Congratulations. My guess is that if she was already willing to spend the night then confessing to not having had "actual sex" isn't really going to be a dealbreaker for her. I'd mention it beforehand so there are no huge surprises once it's actually happening, but based on what you've written here, I think you'll…

I wouldn't go as far as "terrible", but it is the weakest song on the album. In a better world, "Friends of Mine" would have been the hit.

"Happy Valentine's Day. I love you."

It's actually a good song, but it's been so beaten into the ground at this point. Odessey and Oracle is a fucking amazing album and then that song comes on and I can't help but think of overplayed footage of hippies dancing around.

Be positive. This will be their year.

My corner supermarket is selling it. I want to read it at some point, but $27.99? Fuck that shit.

Look, I read comics all through my childhood and I'm excited as hell about the MCU movies (took my family to see Ant-Man this afternoon), but those clips up there? That dialogue? Janet being in a nightie just because?

This. The book itself may or may not be good, but isn't complaining about how an icon like Atticus has been bought down the point of the story in the first place? Saying "my hero is a racist now!" isn't the same thing as an honest appraisal of its' quality.

So is there a track with four minutes of song and ten minutes of the Death Star explosion slowly fading away to nothing?

Woody's made his share of duds, but I've never walked out of one of his movies thinking, "Well, that was a total waste of time." And considering how I like some of his latter-day stuff that usually gets shit on (It's nice to see someone else stand up for Scoop), there's no way I'm not seeing this.

Anybody else read that as Fap and Leonard?

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

PEGGY OLSEN: Just watch the movie.

The rest of my family is currently sleeping, but I can sing "Talkin' Softball" to myself quietly right now. Don't need to look up the lyrics or anything.

Kevin McHale was actually the first person I thought of when I saw that headline. He didn't need to quit his day job, but I remember him having pretty decent comic timing. The floorboard episode is particularly good.