That band the drummer's putting together? Something Fighters? Yeah, like they're going anywhere…

Am I the only one who's still excited by the prospect of Andy Kaufman just magically appearing someday? I'm not logically expecting it, but still…

Who buys Rohypnol in bulk? I guess we know now…

And you had so much money to singe…

Can I pay for with it with puppy dog tails and big, fat snails?

Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm getting Tommy Wiesau vibes from this…

"I don't love Nick anymore. Last night he got drunk…and he hit me."

He beat Dexy's Midnight Runners!

In that case, I'd let the Devil dress her…

I watched about five minutes of the Duggars once. They were going on vacation on their personal bus and stopped by that creationist museum in Kentucky. They showed some shots of the place while one of the daughters said something like, "Well, they already allow evolution in the schools, so they should also let in…

The Room's pure ineptness almost cancels that out. It's like being mad at a puppy when it throws up on the carpet.

If the Tony Stark from the Marvel movies existed in the real world, he'd make me furious. He owes his entire existence to government contracts and taxpayer-funded research and then throws a hissyfit about how the suits are only for him and that we should just trust him to defend us. Guy's practically a Fox News…

The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down?

Mike Post, we could use a few more awesome theme songs right about now…

I'd watch a big-budget feature version of Out of This World (the bread truck short from MST3K.) George Clooney as the driver? Tom Hiddleston as the Devil?

One of the upsides with not trying to hip anymore is finally admitting that Genesis is a really good band. Duke and Three Sides Live are fucking amazing.

You want an old crowd? Go see the Beach Boys (i.e. Mike Love and Bruce Johnston.) Me and my wife went last summer and 75% of the crowd could probably have qualified for AARP.

I don't like cake, myself. Much too sweet!

The what festival?

Three hours, fifty-eight minutes…