Any beard you can grow, I can grow better.
I can grow any beard better than you…

Who are you going to believe? This little punk or Elijah the Prophet?

"Gritty"? No need to euphemisms, dude. If you're looking for people to make Skype porn, just say so.

He's adding velocity…

"You must be heard…"

99% of modern country is unbearable and Toby Keith is tied with Newt Gingrich on my list of Least Favorite People, but I still think "Red Solo Cup" is kind of clever.

"In Honor of Nevada's Largest City", "Untrusting Brains", "No Longer at this Address", "Female with an Impervious Skull."

"…and Hollywood celebrities."

I'm just waiting for Wheel of Fortune to bring back those porcelain dalmatians.

"Somewhere in this business, this has happened before."

Good? He's the BEST!

The only modern song that ever really worked was Nelly McKay's version of "Christmas Waltz."

I saw him in 2002 when he wasn't signed to a label. He played to a smallish crowd and rocked the place. He even mentioned it in Autobiography (It was the McDonald Theater show in Eugene, Oregon.) From the sound of things, he may be iffy nowadays, but he was totally on that night.

Maladjusted would have made a nice EP.

I remember that. What a *bleep*.

And Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"Should I pick a present for him or her?"

"You'd best stop talking now."

Mad Men is so incredible so often that it had reached the point where it was easy for most people to take it for granted. From the looks of the pre-premiere hype, this final season is going to remind them of that again, and I'm glad.

Did you just taste it?