Holy shit, that is perfect. I was gonna suggest Timothy Dalton, but he's like 70 now.

Yeah I think "bloated" is about right.

I bet the New Kids on the Block gang got in a bunch of hits.

I think Monarch is younger by a few years. Rusty makes reference to him being a freshman in "Past Tense". So I assume Rusty was sophomore or higher at this point.

I think that was probably Colonel Gentleman or the Action Man who did that. They always seemed a bit more unhinged.

It's on third

I'd forgotten that was in this episode. Such a great misdirection on top of what would have been a pretty good, if obvious gag.

Colbert as Prof. Impossible of course.

Some of my choices might be a bit weird or unrealistic, but it's a wishlist for a reason.
 This might seem crazy but I really want Orpheus to be played by Tim Curry. Curry might be a bit paunchy for the role, but he has the vocal rhythms to really sell the dramatic lines.
And Johnny Depp pretty much has to be Hunter…

Rash could easily play an asshole. Check him as the weird clerk guy (later named Fenton) on that 70's show. The amount of condescension and bitterness he put into that character was astounding, and yet still manged to be quite funny, despite how shitty that show became.

Plus:
 "We were in 'nam together."
"You would have been, like, 6!"
"I didn't say it was during the war."

…and "Changes 1"? Love that album!

Dude, this is lady armor!

-Bender is bored! Bender is bored!
Bender Bender Bender Bender Bender is bored

Also, of course Bender would continue trying to mug them even though they're his friends.

So no one has looped that for 10 minutes yet?

Neyaa?

Why, dear god, why?

Sploosh

The horse thing was on American Dad, so I guessed the PTC watched at least 2 shows. Also it was one of the funniest fucking gags ever.