I know. We were all talking about it earlier.

I think it's a weird kind of narcissism with these people. The thinking is, "Well, I can't figure out how they did it, and I'm the smartest person who ever lived, which means no one in the history of the world could have figured it out either. Ergo: aliens."

"Kylo Ren is super scary!" From the generation that brought you "I'm a grown adult pretending to be afraid of clowns!" and "Those Muppet Babies' hands are pure nightmare fuel!"

Nothing anyone says will work. Their entire argument breaks down to "I don't understand the science of why I'm wrong so y'all must be lying to me."

Everything Morrissey says sounds like an imperious alien species' first contact with the human race.

He made some of the manliest movies of all time and some of the girliest movies of all time and he's equally awesome in both. There's no one currently walking the earth who could pull that off.

I think you're willfully misinterpreting my point, but good luck to you. It sounds like some total horseshit but the first step in finding somebody who wants to be with you is admitting to yourself that you're worth being with.

It's short for his punk band, The Dead Jedis.

I'm gonna get right back to you on that, because this is definitely a serious conversation.

I think that IS the thing that burst out of Steve Bannon.

Depends. How do you feel about boobs and shenanigans?

All movie posters have sucked since 1989. Discuss.

I bet he can tell real paychecks from fake ones, though.

I'm trying to say this in the spirit of tough love, but I've been seeing you do some version of this response for years, and I gotta say: Your looks have nothing to do with why you don't have a girlfriend. It's your shitty attitude. And I say this as someone who's also turning 40 this year, is a pretty goddamn…

Here comes the meat wagon! And the medic gets out and says, "Oh, my God!" New guy's in the corner puking his guts out. All because you want to save a couple extra pennies…

He just wants people to appreciate him for who he is, not just his lycanthropically enhanced dirty dancing skills.

Beef Mansteak!

For years, I saw an ad on the subway about how Jerry Orbach donated his eyes to science when he died. Maybe this guy was the recipient.

He looks like the yuppie asshole who dumps Drew Barrymore at the beginning of a romantic comedy.

"You know, I was skeptical about you, Johnny Castle, because of the age difference and the abortions and the affairs with married women and the lack of any discernible job prospects, but the way you dry-humped my underage daughter in front of my friends and business associates has really changed my mind. Welcome to…