This seems like an idea and cast I could really get behind, but the odds of it not falling victim to the now-standard serialized TV approach of "Take interesting premise and murder it to fucking death with 45 open-ended subplots that go nowhere" are not good. I'm starting to get pretty sick of TV seasons being treated…

Because nobody gets paid gobs of money to come up with their own shit anymore.

I don't actually hate the movie, probably because I never thought it would be any good. It follows in the proud tradition of other shitty Alien ripoffs like Galaxy of Terror and Inseminoid, and on that level (a level with very, very low standards) I enjoyed it.

"I'm a scientist who just discovered absolute, concrete proof of alien life, but there isn't a living alien who speaks English right here in the first room on this planet that I checked, so instead of taking part in the most exciting biological study in human history, I'm just gonna sit here and sulk like a child who…

I believe his character is named Jon Favroom.

Did I say Looper? I meant Jumper. That movie is the cornerstone of the whole theory, really.

You think you're the first one to ask me that?

Really? Can you imagine anyone yelling out "Killsquated!" in the throes of passion?

If you only see one movie this year, that movie should be…Gattaca.

It's Monsieur. I thought that was obvious.

Oh, it's Frencher than that. I've met actual French people from France who are like, "Your name is what? C'est vrai? No, it cannot be. Henri, come. You must hear this. Now tell him. Tell Henri your name."

When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said
(What did she say?)
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies…

I was named after my father, who had a very French first name he never, ever used. Everybody called him Mike, so for the first six years of my life, I was Mike, too. Then in first grade, there were three other Mikes in the class and I was sick of getting their papers back by accident. So I started going by my actual,…

"I'm sorry, sir. We don't know how this happened, but we seem to have misplaced your newborn daughter."
"I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

Maybe, but whichever way the great question of nature vs. nurture is eventually answered, these kids are fucked.

This is a really efficient way to provide employers of the future with a list of who not to hire.

One thing I've noticed about Liman is that he seems like a very pleasant fellow but all of his movies are about total shitheads.

But I just met 'er sisters!

There was no way a woman who looks like Eva Green was ever going to escape being in a Tim Burton movie at some point. At least she got it over with quickly.

I'm not gonna lie that part of the joke is that dicks are funny, but the majority of it is based on the idea that elephant penises are enormous and physically damaging when thrust at you again and again, and getting literally drenched with elephant semen to the point where you cant breathe is unpleasant no matter who…