Pretty soon there's gonna be a show called "Things Even Adam Sandler Wouldn't Touch."

Pretty soon there's gonna be a show called "Things Even Adam Sandler Wouldn't Touch."

Yet another season of completely unattractive naked boobies. Great.

Yet another season of completely unattractive naked boobies. Great.

I know a guy who lost his virginity to "Nothing Feels Good." Trust me, the jokes we got off of that tidbit of information were both priceless and never ending.

I know a guy who lost his virginity to "Nothing Feels Good." Trust me, the jokes we got off of that tidbit of information were both priceless and never ending.

…because 40 year olds have gotten over cutting at this point?

…because 40 year olds have gotten over cutting at this point?

First - yes, I'm pretty sure this entire thing was a wrapper for the "general tso's chicken" joke.

First - yes, I'm pretty sure this entire thing was a wrapper for the "general tso's chicken" joke.

I'm just impressed USA keeps coming up with terms to replace "hiatus": Mid-season finale, half-mid season half-finale, super-quarter double-half season two parter cliff hanger dopplebock.

I'm just impressed USA keeps coming up with terms to replace "hiatus": Mid-season finale, half-mid season half-finale, super-quarter double-half season two parter cliff hanger dopplebock.

Was I the only one who found "Traci Lords Middle School" to be really funny?

Was I the only one who found "Traci Lords Middle School" to be really funny?

Uncle Phil is gonna be ~pissed~.

Uncle Phil is gonna be ~pissed~.

Florida *is* America's wang.

Florida *is* America's wang.

If they cast Sarah Jessica Parker in one of these shows, they can call it a reboot of "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken."

If they cast Sarah Jessica Parker in one of these shows, they can call it a reboot of "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken."