Whoa, she might be on a TV show I'd actually watch. Universes… colliding!

Somewhere in the executive offices of NBC….

Smithers, release the hounds.

Is this rendition local? I'm going to ask you again, is this rendition local?

Orthodox priests conspired with the KGB during the Soviet era. People would confess sins, and the priest would turn around and tell the spooks. They were only allowed to remain during the communism because they had tons of money to throw around to the Party and (no doubt) had secrets on people.

I'd slide my whistle right in.

I prefer a good pussy sit-in.

The fact that The Big Bang Theory is anywhere on this list completely invalidates it for me.

Next time, lotion - not sandpaper.

I don't particularly care for any of USA's original programming, but the ads were the shows creator called the "FBI, DEA, and U.S. department of customs" the "3 branches of government" made me laugh out loud. Here you are the creator of the show and you don't even know what you're friggin talking about.

Life will be the death of you.

The pilot was pretty much a dead-on, word-for-word repeat of the UK pilot, with Britishisms changed out for Americanisms ('jelly' v 'jello', for example). It goes far beyond a few key jokes, though.

valar morghulis

Great. Now there's gonna be some twink running around being obsessive/compulsive about getting asshole bleached.

He comes back just to write those skits. That's why the last Stefon outing made a reference to him writing all the episodes of "Smash."

I drink more coffee than they do, and I'm not dead.

This whole episode was super phoned-in. The monologue did nothing for me, and even Weekend Update was pretty weak, and that's usually the one thing I find consistently funny.

Think about the person who has 30 large to drop on TV show memorabilia but can't get laid.

Yeah, but is she looking for someone who's down for a "Red Wedding"?

What if they merge this with the concept of Mel Gibson's "Forever Young" and he steals a B-52 bomber, flies to his old lady and gets some nice nice?